Category: Writers Block
The train was moving fast he had suspected it might as stunning snowy Highland scenery swept by he tried to see something positive in being so close to mountains he would never climb again, his legs shook with the train's vibration he rubbed them then sighed deeply and allowed his mind to drift away to the steep familiar flanks of An Teallach. {She'll be covered in snow deep frozen perfect......} He remembered the sensation as his crampons broke then bit in to the crust with that reassuring crunch that made your nerves settle that bit quicker {Christ! How will i live without climbing? Is this! A worthwhile way of life} the train stopped at Ullapool station and as he got out several passengers stared and asked themselves the inevitable question "why is he here must be a mixed up tourist?".
They didn't see him in the true sense just what was wrong and nothing else, as his friend strode towards him he saw the easy smile vanish and turned away from his discomfort {...This scares him and I know why} "Hello pal listen she's not goin anywhere maybe your doin this too early it's a form of torture" too many well meaning cliche's tumbled out before he could stop them and each one was more painful than the last.
"If I don't do it now I never will.." he quickly changed the subject though this one was just as difficult "hmm another new jeep who say's beggin dosen't pay" they looked at each other as friends but the gap was widening "will you manage ok it's slippery here you should ..." he stopped abruptly and struggled with horrible embarrassment "It's a bit late for that hmm? I'll be all right I like a bit a off roadin" Gary watched as he picked his way through the barely melted ice, he ached to help but knew that almost every offer would be refused "see I'm no beaten yet pal" he smiled but it was filled with frustration "right the hostel food beer and eh a shower don't worry you'll be fine I told them" the climber followed Garry's long stride and groaned inwardly {more numpty's who can't handle it just what I need!}
They reached the hostel and Garry could see his friend was pissed off the path had been mostly up hill and very uneven.
His legs were shaking again he hated that "I'm sorry they had promised it would be sorted, but you know how the weather is here" just then heavy lacy snow began to fall it was just what he wanted to see {at least my hill il still be at her best} Garry held the door as he went inside and faced the 1st few climbers who hadn't seen him in 6 months,there followed a tense awkward silence the journey had shortened his fuse "what!? Did he no tell you what happened jesus I'm no contagious" "he did aye I'm sorry how are you now..... that must have been.... rough eh" "Well you can see anyway its done now eh.." the climbers did their best to act normally and say the right things, but he knew they didn't have a clue and the strain was showing "you said somethin about beer pal but eh,it's in short supply" he pulled out £10 and ordered a round and Garry braced himself for a hangover.
"So why are you up here I mean it can't be easy being back surrounded by hills" he sat back and eased his stiff muscles stalling for time to create a believable lie "it's no but it's somethin I have to do or else I'll never be able to move on at all" a climber sensed his doubt and reached over and put a hand on his shoulder "if I was in your position seeing An Teallach would be the last thing on my mind" Garry put down 3 pints and he took 1 without waiting "slainte and listen guys please stop treatin me as if I'm libel to break ok..I'm still the same guy despite everythin" they agreed and drank the rich cold ale.
He put down the 1/2 empty pint and showed his appreciation aahhh! That was gorgeous..right excuse me guys" they looked at each other in a moment of uncertainty "do you.... want a hand" "no unless you feel like holdin it for me if you do I'm off!" the climber smiled breathed a silent sigh of relief and drank his pint when he was out of sight they asked Garry, what they couldn't ask otherwise "is your man really..alright its bloody difficult having to watch my tongue in case I speak out of turn" Garry took a long drink and planned his answer ".....he's as ok as its possible to be, to be honest I think this is a huge mistake but you know him, he'd rather haul himself up the Corrag Bhuide pinnacles than admit that!" He calmed down and subdued the growing worry over his friends new determination, Garry suspected that he'd want to do more than just say goodbye "I could do with a piss myself back soon lads and keep an eye on the snow, if this keeps up we might be here for a while"
he left to join his friend and found him staring out at the snow drifting westwards, hurried on by a strong and bitter easterly wind normally this would have excited them the mere thought of a challenging ice climb up the Lord's Gully would have had them sweating and filled their stomachs with impatient butterflies he put a hand on his friends shoulder and felt the tense muscles "is that you po'd again we can still get there and eh the jeep is built for this" he turned and smiled "I know an your right I'd forgotten the weather anyhow it's only snow" the look in his dark eyes was regretful and Garry hoped he wasn't slipping back.
"It's a pity I dont have my Honda type R we could have had some fun eh" he was thinking about bragging and his friend wished for the old days when their banter was a daily occurrence "any more of that and next time I'm passin I'll let your bloody tyres down" he smiled and voiced the fear that normally made him angry but he smiled convincingly "well I've aye got a spare set".
"Yes ok eh are you done I'm gettin to the desperate stage" he opened his fly and released the stream "ohh! Man that's heaven you can't beat that feelin" "hmm no there's more satisfaction to be had by scorin a 4 pointer with some eejit crashin in to you as if he's drivin a feckin bulldozer..that's better than sex!" Garry looked incredulous and almost pissed all over his new jeans "oi!Watch yoursel man or people il think your incontinent...again" he cursed then grinned after finishing up "better than sex away your exaggeratin there pal eh? Sex is comparable with summitin The Eiger!"No sooner were the words out of his mouth than Garry wished to destroy them, to rip up every syllable, burn them, to indistinguishable ashes! The silence was deafening eventually his friend found the courage to speak "why did you no pick K2 I've never been impressed by that 1"
"I really am sorry!" He quickly washed his hands and went to hug him,or at least ease his pain with the right words "your aye sorry eh! But it dosen't change the fact that you can't handle what's happened! Whenever I am needin a hand your thinkin he could be me! Then you hang back, or worse still try to hard! Like those f.ckin eejits who assume I cant't piss without help!" Garry ached to dissolve the tears standing in his eyes waiting for gravity to call them forward "ok yes it does scare me and I'd be a strange bugger if I wasn't frightened,but who's cheered you on in the games who's helped you after a heavy night in Failte hmm ME! F.ckin useless me!"
The atmosphere crackled between them and it was ages before either of them spoke "we'd better get back they might think I've forgotten what my dick is for" the humour was gone from his voice and his parting look was full of indecision "right now I could do with more than a pint..Christ! I'd swap places with you if it would make things any easier" before reaching their table he ordered 4 pints "an a double whisky for blondie" but the bartender cut him off "take it easy eh we could hear you 2 out here, an argument is not good for my customers" "listen pal when your in my position you have to argue anyway we've been friends a long time eh" the bartender looked him over and said the worst thing "being in a wheelchair doesn't give you the right to use that kind of language" he thought of hauling himself up and somehow climbing over the bar,but the idea was absurd and involved a massive loss of dignity
"We're in trouble pal you'll need ae take your next rammy outside or its an eviction, imagine doin that to me!" Garry laughed sarcastically and looked for trouble in his friends eyes but he was already focused on his untouched pint, Garry seized his chance and took the bartender aside "listen pal if you'd been in hospital for nearly 6 months you'd be rowdy and the last fella who warned your man about swearin...well...they had a wild time in rehab" his expression hadn't altered, his mood hadn't wavered, but the "warning" changed everything "is he violent I mean..he's Jesus that's all i need a bad tempered cripple who likes his beer" at the mention of the Cword he swung the chair around and joined them with a face portraying his dark quiet anger "right! The next time your in Glasgow look me up an I'll teach you the meanin a frustration anger pity an bullshit! An if you don't appear I'll come back an strap you in to the damned thing!" The bartender fully expected him to stand up and hit him "this is stupid! Will you stop bein so touchy its only a word Christ! I'm sick and tired of bein caught in the middle of your fights!"
"Is that you causing trouble again fella's I dont know,your destroying the highland reputation for hospitality" the assorted climbers and tourists had felt slightly sorry for 1 of their own confined to a wheelchair, but after witnessing his anger and seeing his dark eyes turn to steel their pity had changed to unease the cold ale helped to calm them down and Garry appreciated his whisky."Hmm Glenmorangie is it still Scots or is this that French rubbish" I don't know eh wait and I'll ask,that's if he's no hidin from your pal" Garry swirled the whisky and the light danced around within it golden then darkening to copper and settling to its original amber "it's the real thing man so take your time and by the way the snows on for a few days.... are you any good in the snow in that thing" he smiled and seemed relaxed "aye why d'you feel like a snowball fight"
The older climber brave with alcohol asked a few questions that had been niggling him "where'd you buy that 1 I've not seen a chair like it" "I eh designed it myself with the help of a company in Ireland who make them ...it's a sports model with a few alterations I play basketball" he wasn't bragging now just passing on the kind of information that the 6 months in rehab had prepared him for, but it was still painful. "Really I used to fancy doing that myself, but I stopped growing so..." "why no come down an watch us we'er aye lookin for vict..." he smiled and winked at the other climber "I mean guys who want to experience life from a different perspective"
"Do you have many takers" "no" his voice was heavy with disappointment and they didn't know how to make him feel better "People are scared enough of endin up like this, aye they'll come an watch us an say aren't they good ect but as far as takin up the offer, no its eh rare that we get anyone daft or brave enough" they conferred with looks and eye contact he pretended not to notice and watched the snow "all right we'll eh jump in at the deep end and eh have a go" the effect was instant his eyes disbelieved them at 1st until finally it sunk in and he grinned "eh you'll need a few lessons 1st" "what? Right now I've only had 2 pints" he noticed a seat next to him and tested it for wobbliness "ah ha that's ok right you'll no need ae worry about this but I'll let you try her out" he lifted his legs away from the chair and they shook with unwanted movement he ignored it and slid across onto the seat "right get in man while it's still warm an eh watch her eh,these are no cheap" apart from the tight strap Dougie had put across his legs to lessen the shaking, he could have been any other climber, or hiker and there in lay the tragedy, his useless limbs would always give him away.
John wasn't making much progress the chair moved too and he couldn't control it's direction Dougie watched and remembered how awkward he'd been and how he'd refused to even acknowledge the chair's existence now he thought nothing of getting in and showing off, in front of the right people,screwing up in front of strangers wasn't an option "this is bloody impossible pal!" John tried to turn left and the thing behaved like a shopping trolley "ohhh! I give up how long does it take to pass your test" Garry pushed the exasperated climber over to Dougie who couldn't finish his pint for laughing "aye go on take the piss bloody expert's" he put down the glass and struggled to keep a straight face."I'll show you how to turn and once you've got that the rest is easy...put your right hand up here and the other...there,slowly move the right one back and turn the left wheel,aye no slowly...jesus! We've got a right 1 here guys"
"Well smart arse will you show us how its done..you must know a trick or 2 playing basketball" Dougie glanced around the hostel had emptied as the snow had stopped and there was plenty of room "Garry hand our my rucksack an eh we can have a game" he lifted the large leather bag and felt a genuine basketball "Christ! D'you carry this damned thing everywhere Doug's comfort ball eh" "Just the same as you taking that lucky picture with you hmm? Do these fella's know who it is?" they dared each other with glances until Dougie climbed back in to the chair and bounced the ball with confidence "right the trick is to distract the player, or ram in to him with enough force to knock him, or the ball, flyin but as your aw walkin you've got the harder job an don't think I wont run our your toes" he seemed at home in the chair and cheekily swung it side to side with a twist of his hips Garry got up and tried to get the ball but Dougie knew all his moves and swung away "feck!" "Concentrate pal come on" they played for 10 minutes without a break and it was easy to forget his previous anger but it came back with ribbons when the right wheel caught on an uneven tile and tipped over.
"Damn it! To hell! Jesus! No I'm fine no dont you dare! Help me up just get my wheels eh" Dougie sat up and checked his legs for cuts he felt nothing from the waist down and the slightest open wound was serious "are you hurt eh I'd forgotten all about that tile..." Garry stood back as he hauled himself in to the chair and angrily tightened the strap across his legs "man that il cut off your circulation..and for what it's worth no one cares about that ok only you" Dougie glared at him and Garry knew what was coming "look at me eh! For once just look! F.ck You might as well be blind as far as I'm concerned" he wrenched the chair around and went outside for a smoke
"Damn it! To hell! Jesus! No I'm fine no dont you dare! Help me up just get my wheels eh" Dougie sat up and checked his legs for cuts he felt nothing from the waist down and the slightest open wound was serious "are you hurt eh I'd forgotten all about that tile..." Garry stood back as he hauled himself in to the chair and angrily tightened the strap across his legs "man that il cut off your circulation..and for what it's worth no one cares about that ok only you" Dougie glared at him and Garry knew what was coming "look at me eh! For once just look! F.ck You might as well be blind as far as I'm concerned" he wrenched the chair around and went outside for a smoke
"Damn it! To hell! Jesus! No I'm fine no dont you dare! Help me up just get my wheels eh" Dougie sat up and checked his legs for cuts he felt nothing from the waist down and the slightest open wound was serious "are you hurt eh I'd forgotten all about that tile..." Garry stood back as he hauled himself in to the chair and angrily tightened the strap across his legs "man that il cut off your circulation..and for what it's worth no one cares about that ok only you" Dougie glared at him and Garry knew what was coming "look at me eh! For once just look! F.ck You might as well be blind as far as I'm concerned" he wrenched the chair around and went outside for a smoke
The cold bit in to his hands and the fingerless leather gloves didn't help he exhaled and took another long draw on the rapidly disappearing cigarette,his legs were still now as he loosened the strap his fingers carefully for cuts then "why the f.ck am I doin this!.. Now I'll have to apologise man you don't deserve my self pity" "no I don't but I'll let you off it's only been 6 months" Dougie lit another and blew smoke rings which encircled the lazily falling snow "there's no time limit man..I'm better than I was you have to admit that, before I'd have ran a mile at the thought of demonstrating the beauty a chair control" they eyed up the scenery and Garry quietly laughed at the irony of that last statement "at least your sense of humour's intact and I'm bloody proud to call you my friend"
Dougie coughed and wiped his eyes though they both knew why Garry accepted the cold as an excuse "so eh it's almost lunch time and the guys il be out here wantin to see if your in 1 piece" "aye all right let's start again man I've put you in a vice askin for your help wi this escapde am I mad?" he was joking but his eyes hoped for reassurance "no more than the rest of us pal.." he smiled and threw the snowball he'd been hiding "arrghh!" Garry shook the wet icy snow from his shoulder length blonde hair. "That's typical of you urrghhh you might of picked a better handful" Dougie sleekitly squeezed another lump in to a hard snowball while his eyes remained fixed on Garry "what like this you mean?" he threw it hard and felt the chair skid on black ice "Oh ho! Maybe I could take up ice skatin eh that would go down a treat at the Paralympics"
"Id Pay to see that what would it come under?" Garry was concerned about the snow and a thick layer of sticky red salt that now clung to the chair's wheels "eh mate you'll need to put up with a shove or we'll be here all afternoon" Dougie looked down and swore "f.ck if there's 1 thing I dislike more than crap it's this!" He wiped most of it off but every turn of the wheel just repeated the process "aw bugger it! Come on I'm starvin we'll wash her down later" Garry agreed and decided to shovel away the salt when his friend became more amiable after a few more pints and wouldn't want to help,he offered a push and Dougie didn't complain as his shoulders were sore with the punishing training he'd assumed basketball would be easy "what's on the menu I'd eat anythin right now" the discomfort of meeting new people hadn't diminished every new reaction was another turn on a steep learning curve "eh I'm not sure pal are you still eatin healthily eh fruit veg and monitorin your alcohol intake" Dougie laughed this was the 1st ale he'd tasted in a month "I monitor it goin down the glass that's good enough anyway the coach was pissed last week but we still won eh".
"Id Pay to see that what would it come under?" Garry was concerned about the snow and a thick layer of sticky red salt that now clung to the chair's wheels "eh mate you'll need to put up with a shove or we'll be here all afternoon" Dougie looked down and swore "f.ck if there's 1 thing I dislike more than crap it's this!" He wiped most of it off but every turn of the wheel just repeated the process "aw bugger it! Come on I'm starvin we'll wash her down later" Garry agreed and decided to shovel away the salt when his friend became more amiable after a few more pints and wouldn't want to help,he offered a push and Dougie didn't complain as his shoulders were sore with the punishing training he'd assumed basketball would be easy "what's on the menu I'd eat anythin right now" the discomfort of meeting new people hadn't diminished every new reaction was another turn on a steep learning curve "eh I'm not sure pal are you still eatin healthily eh fruit veg and monitorin your alcohol intake" Dougie laughed this was the 1st ale he'd tasted in a month "I monitor it goin down the glass that's good enough anyway the coach was pissed last week but we still won eh".
Garry faked disgust and asked Dougie where he'd like to sit this seemed bizarre to the tourists who didn't understand their humour "hmmm just where we are I liked the feel a that seat" he stood back as Doug pushed himself back to the table "are you ok that was quite a fall" he wiped off the salt and smiled while lifting a pint of Kelpie "it's all in the game pal this floor's harder than a court and it caught me by surprise" the climber glanced briefly at his legs they were still strong as the muscles had only begun to waste "your some lad I'm kind of scared about taking you up on this dare...eh do you guys play rough" Dougie stopped mid swallow and his eyes held John's gaze "does your man take a photo of his dog everywhere wi him" Garry exchanged a glance with his friend but his handsome face gave nothing away "aye he's very fond of the furball he was badly homesick for the mutt on Kanchengunga"
They laughed and waited for his reaction as ever he was quick and undeterred by his friend's ribbing Garry took a small picture out of his wallet "that's my boy I rescued him and he's one of the best dog's I've ever had on the hill the big lump saved my life on Ben Nevis" he discussed dogs with the bartender who liked the picture "he's got the coat for it right enough no need for Gore-Tex with that lad what's he called?" Garry stared at the photo and smiled "hmmm?..Ossian and I've nothin to be ashamed of with him" If Dougie hadn't been so relaxed that remark would have offended him but he realised the opposite just in time "pal while your busy gettin aw pink n fluffy there we'er wastin away" Garry asked for the menu and groaned
They read it and couldn't make up their minds "I'd have thought as you were so hungry that you'd have picked the 1st thing there" Dougie was engrossed in the decision and Garry poked him "Oi d'you mind anyhow I'm an athlete" there was a moment's silence then someone scoffed he had already located the source and Garry saw his eyes darken with anger "hey no if you go over there I'm goin home" they stared at each other while the scoffing continued Dougie could feign immunity to ignorance but not when it came at the expense of all his hard work "don't worry I'll be civil" he locked eyes with the guy and went over "so your a sceptic eh? Hmm we get a lot of them until we start scorin that is and our dream of competin in Beijing becomes reality" when he turned the chair around with a flourish the sceptic said what he'd been waitin for "bloody spaz!" Garry's stomach tightened the last man to say the that had been knocked to the ground with a broken jaw, he slowly turned the chair around and explained a few things.
"Eh well partly see my legs spasm because their paralysed and then they shake I cant do anythin about it, so hell your partly right but it's no interrupted my degree in Psychology"
Garry exhaled and took a large gulp of ale Dougie winked while rubbing his hands together and returned to his friends "that went well i thought he'll think twice now eh" he picked up his pint and indulged his thirst ".....man that's the stuff back in a minute blondie order for me eh" The climbers laughed at that and at Garry's answer he'd looked around and searched underneath his seat for anyone with blonde hair, Dougie saw the look of mischief in his blue eyes and gave him a wicked grin.
"Your man seems happier now" he re-read the menu and chose something for Dougie "......eh I hope so he's adjustin to..." he disliked the label more than his friend and as most people were none the wiser,they had grown equally tired of explaining it "he's completely paraplegic and eh it's the single biggest transition he's ever had to face,from being a feckin good climber free to go whenever and wherever he wanted, to being dependent on a chair and good safe terrain ...well you can't imagine ..So listen don't feel sorry for him ok..and that's a bit of advice"
"Jesus ok I'll try and feel free to kick me if I f.ck up" Garry smiled almost to himself he seemed distracted ".....I wont need to pal at least Doug has learned to stick up for himself and there's few more dangerous things than an angry paraplegic with a few pints down him" John didn't know if he should laugh but Garry's boyish grin reassured him "see I've no idea when you 2 are joking" he put a hand on the climber's shoulder and got up to check on Dougie "just go along with us pal then you'll relax more and remember he's trying to be one of us.." he went to see what was taking Doug so long and found him stripped to the waist and covered in soap the temperature was falling to -12 and Garry had been "persuaded" to take off his jacket only after the basketball game. "What's this I thought you were ravenous eh?" He hurriedly washed off the soap and dried off his muscular chest "the damned shower's are upstairs eh I could hardly ask you to humph me up there in front a people" "your right and I'm glad to see you've lost weight the basketball's made you a new man" Doug camped it up and joked "darling you say the nicest things come here we've time for some shenanigans"
"Get away I'm not the cheatin type you slapper!" He dressed and felt a slight draft blowing in as Garry moved away from a crack in a window "jeez! That's baltic mind you it's aye freezin up here I wonder how our pal's are doin eh maybe we'll need ae save them a sausage or 3" the thought of meeting a pack of re-introduced wolves on their journey to An Teallach,sent primal shivers up Garry's spine it was 1 of the main reasons he'd agreed to the trip "You can try a howl or 2 and I'll wait in the jeep" "that's right leave me outside smellin a meat you cruel sod" they laughed and went to eat.
1/2 way through their meal Dougie's mobile sprang in to life he carried on eating but barely sipped his 1/4 pint of cool ale, but the noise eventually drove him crazy "ohh all right this had better be important" his Scots/Irish brogue had deepened with frustration "hello... ah it's yourself Ronnie what's the craic?" they talked for a while and they could tell instantly that this was posibly the biggest call of his life "what!? Say that again I didn't hear you right...Jesus! It's that close! Ok soon as I'm back I'll be trainin as always, am I not aye racin up an down that damned court..what's that? Aye I will..see you man" he sat stunned and elated his daring dream was now within touching distance "that was our coach eh we've 4 more games in front ae the selectors then with luck we'er off! To the championships If we win then who knows!" Garry shook his free hand and slapped him on the back for the 1st time since arriving in Ullapool, Dougie's eyes were alive with possabilitites "this call's for a celebratation pal eh! Where's that spare £20 when your ready...whisky all round for us athlete's" Dougie backed the chair away towards a corner and caught Garry's excited eyes "eh I'd best take it easy...you know what happened last time... and the last thing I want is to embarrass mysel or anyone else" Garry did some quick thinking and remembered he whispered "oh shit!" And came up with a plan "Well just keep on top of it eh when you've been drinkin just go and release it" Dougie squirmed he was drowning and flailing around for help but no one understood "aye ok if I'm no quick enough get me outta site promise me you'll drive me home before any bugger ask's if "I'm all right" Garry promised and went to put a firm hand on his friend's shoulder but Dougie moved quickly and held it tight, his brown eyes were begging Garry to change everything and give him relief from what he feared most "you know I'd do it pal I'd give you my spinal cord if it would help"
"That's no what I want Just be the kind a friend an eejit like me deserves" Garry smiled and promised to do whatever his friend asked "you've been fine so far eh? And I'll keep an eye on how pissed you are....so how can we go wrong" He waited for doubts and concern but Dougie surprised him by joining in "aye now lets celebrate! Your man the sceptic il be feeling pretty bloody stupid right now eh" they smiled and held each other's eyes Dougie's were slowly losing the self doubt that seemed to haunt him and becoming more cheerful "you'll get there pal and despite what you think none of us are in any rush right".
The barman brought over a bottle of MacAllan Single Malt and 4 small glasses, Dougie eyed them up and calculated how much he could safely drink "damn I'll hardly even taste it..here you can have this 1 pal I've got to lessen my intake now" he handed the pint to John who took it but not without knowing the real reason "...cheers Christ I'll no be fit to climb out my bed tomorrow morning you lads certainly put it away" he smiled and went over to the window where he concentrated on the snow blinking and gleaming in the late afternoon sun "Man you'll be gorgeous right now... I'm sorry beauty but 1 day we'll met again eh an you'll be sick a the sight a me"
He carefully sipped the whisky while keeping an eye on how it was affecting him,only the thought of playing high grade basketball stopped him from getting legless "nothing but weeks of damned hard slog now eh though your possession seems fine" "yep I'm lookin forward to it" he sat back and stretched as the whisky's warmth eased the pain in his shoulders "playin il keep me from thinkin about..her" Garry looked down at his glass and wondered if he should ask the next question "....has she not been in touch at all how long's it been eh 4 weeks?" Dougie lit up then swallowed his drink in 1 "aye she's eh..." he watched the smoke change direction and bend as he blew on it "Jenny couldn't handle my mood swings anyway the competition's come at the best time I...need a focus in life".
"And your sittin there lookin nothin like an athlete honestly Peter Mullen should make a film about you lot" Dougie seemed nonplussed but he was using the time to mull the idea over in his mind,"hmmm Why him?" That mischevous glint was back in his brown eyes and Garry was relieved to see it "aw his films are about drunks an losers we'er winners man, sure we'er top o the league, an you've still to take your chance against our new man" he pointed with the glass and a hard stare Garry backed off and considered his next move it was a mistake "eh ehm I've seen the way he plays christ! The guy's lethal and big I mean your tall, but him Jesus! Dougie have a heart" he slowly sipped at a nip of whisky and whistled while checking his watch,Garry was trapped and this always made him nervous "ok ok I'll try my luck against the nutter but just don't feed him any red meat before hand, and he's in the wrong game Wheelchair Rugby's more his thing there he could hurt people an get away with it".
The climbers were intrigued by this they had met some hard nuts on the hills but this fella sounded truly suspect "I'm not having you casting aspersions on a damned good player sure he always buy's a round" the glass was pressed against Garry's chest and he was glad it wasn't loaded "and another thing he's only been in a chair 5 months and he's tryin to get a children's team goin,so he's no all bad" {he's so satisfied with himself Christ! I'd love to wipe that smile off his face} Dougie went to relieve himself and whistled Flower Of Scotland
"Should that no be Danny boy!" Dougie raised his right hand and his middle finger then spun the chair around and pulled a wheelie, while keeping the chair up he glanced across to the sceptic who couldn't hold his stare "no bad for a spaz eh" he winked and smoothly let the front wheels down then Garry took advantage of his good mood "oh Danny boy the pipes the pipes are callingfrom gle.." "I'll be callin a bloody undertaker before you've reached the chorus" fortunately for Garry he didn't have time to carry out his threat they laughed and joined him to relieve themselves "what's this fruitcake's day out eh I hope your no goin to get rowdy Munro your man's terrible after whisky, sure he'll chat up anythin wi a pulse"
As they piled in to the gents Dougie held the door he liked the irony of the gesture and treated them all like invalids "Oi keep blondie away from the toilet paper the eejit's got a thing about rippin it in to tiny pieces, and ...oh don't ask" John wrapped an arm around Garry who was 10 years younger and warned him "your not to misbehave or there'l be no ice cream and you wont get to play with the big fella's ball either" Garry glared at Dougie who sat impassively smoking "that's a filthy habit..." "1 among many talkin of which eh this is no pretty..." the discomfort returned and Dougie whistled Danny Boy to distract his friends
"Its a good thing your dick's numb just the sight of that needle's making me cringe" he eyed up the thin line of metal connected to a narrow plastic tube and shrugged "see on Halloween takin this out is guaranteed to get you more than an extra tangerine" John forced the image from his mind and studied the prickly white hoar frost on the cars and buildings "the last time we had this he was well on so yours truly had the "honour" of re-attaching the needle, talk about cringing I felt every inch of the procedure".Dougie finished up and replaced the line, beneath the smiles and banter he felt stupidly ashamed and self conscious they couldn't avoid the deep emotion in his eyes and even Garry had nothing to say,in stead of searching for inadquate words,he looked straight at Dougie and their silent exchange said far more.
The owner appeared and complained about the trail of thick red salt "I can't be having this my place resembles a building site" his thick Northern Irish accent flowed over Dougie like the warmth of their whisky "ah ha! Sure that's a Belfast man how are you mate" He held out a hand but the owner was reluctant "Iv'e washed my hands and these fella's il back me up,will you not ease the homesickness of a fellow Paddy" they shook hands and Dougie offered him a cigarette "no no I gave up 3 weeks ago its murder..by the way who owns the blue jeep it's a disgrace" Garry lazily leaned against a wall and admitted the crime "she's due for a wash eh I'd planned on doin it today but with a -12 frost your not on" the owner was kidding but Garry wasn't as sharp the MacAllan was just too smooth and he had forgotten his earlier promise to Dougie, who dropped him right in it "we warned your man but he said I'm not a car valeter I'm a climber! And she's nothin more than transport, if you don't like it you can walk..now what kind of a response is that?"
John laughed he was now at ease with the crip humour however the owner was yet to catch on "did you not take that as an insult I mean you cant..." Doug lit up and took a long indulgent draw "ah no what's the point anyway he's bigger than me, and high altitude has a strange effect on a man it can make him volatile, so its best to keep him sweet.." Garry groaned and sauntered back to the comparative safety of the bar he'd grown used to his friend's gift,he'd alter a situation where people felt awkward and have them eating out of his hand Doug had become a star in rehab and they missed him "no but eh that's not to say I wouldn't try after a few more MacAllan's and your man's more of a problem, once his legs go, there's more chance of me gettin up an dancin like Michael Flatley"
John laughed he was now at ease with the crip humour however the owner was yet to catch on "did you not take that as an insult I mean you cant..." Doug lit up and took a long indulgent draw "ah no what's the point anyway he's bigger than me, and high altitude has a strange effect on a man it can make him volatile, so its best to keep him sweet.." Garry groaned and sauntered back to the comparative safety of the bar he'd grown used to his friend's gift,he'd alter a situation where people felt awkward and have them eating out of his hand Doug had become a star in rehab and they missed him "no but eh that's not to say I wouldn't try after a few more MacAllan's and your man's more of a problem, once his legs go, there's more chance of me gettin up an dancin like Michael Flatley"
The owner burst out laughing and Doug breathed out a perfect smoke ring "all right Gandalf Christ! I need some fresh air what about yourself" John wanted to help he just didn't know how "no I'm fine at least the blue meanies are off my back, fine place you have here an eh we'll clean up the mess" he repositioned himself in the chair and stuck the burning cigarette behind his left ear "fresh air hmm? Why not I could do wi some exercise and your man is not gettin away wi it" John shot the owner a look that said "may god have mercy on his soul"
Garry was oblivious to their deceit and happily ridding the barman of his expensive single malt,when he saw Dougie coming back he tried to appear semi-pissed "all right what was so amusin hmmm? your up to no good I bet" the guy's denied everything and went outside to clear their heads "ahh that's gorgeous watch yourself there it's slippy..aye right there" Dougie removed the cigarette and inhaled while surveying the wild landscape the cold was stronger now and the image of a flawless snow covered An Teallach wouldn't leave him alone "how can you stand to be among such amazing mountain scenery eh? I'd go mad" he drew on the cigarette and lied as his right hand rubbed his right leg and the fact that he couldnt feel it, was suddenly, morbidly, fascinating; "well in rehab I was taught to see this as somethin positive, before I had a lot a pain, an now there's none also they teach you how to alter your perspective and a guy taught me how ae use positive imagery he said focus only on what you can still do an ignore the rest..an eh its workin 95% of the time"
John looked at the far away expression in his eyes the same expression that seasoned climbers carried around perpetually looking ahead and up when their intended hill loomed in to view, with some it never diminished while those who had seen sense after being frightened to death in this thankless game of fools,clung to every last trace of it while reliving the nightmare of their fall every time they tried to get some sleep Dougie fingered the spiky ice and the feeling of screaming down the face at 500ft came back abruptly,he was scared by the vibrancy of the memory he could feel the bitter alpine wind tearing at his hair skin and clothes how as he fell everything seemed tumbled and jumbled erratic and surreal upside down,is this the right way up,? and the terrible ending the colossal thump as he'd landed then the nauseating pain and tell tale pins and needles.
"Have you seen or heard anythin about these wolves that are hangin around here" John jumped he had been worried about Dougie's mood and had no idea how to ease his pain "...hmmm eh seen them yes I've been 10 feet away from a female I'm not sure who was more surprised" he relaxed a little and it seemed strange how meeting a wolf scared him less than the fear he'd seen in Dougie's darkened eyes "probably her eh? Was this in winter see when they howl oh man its primeval I can't get enough of em..sorry I'm usurpin up your story" John smiled and held his gaze the darkness was leaving to be replaced by regret."Ah it's
all right eh I'd just come round by the back of Suilven at the ridge end to have lunch before tackling Cul Mhor, and eh there she was sniffing with her head low you know how they do that..and keeping her yellow eyes fixed on me but I wasn't worried about an attack we looked at each other then she trotted off towards Canisp.
He listened as his mind recreated the scene he'd been blessed with a powerful imagination and it allowed him to experience something that seemed unlikely in reality "are you in eh?" John gave him a gentle shove to check whether he'd fallen asleep "What? Oh aye I'm still here did you take a picture by any chance" this climber was known for taking pictures of interesting sights on the hills in the hope of capturing a UFO "eh no and I'd the camera in my hand but I completely forgot" as he wandered around his speech and body language became more animated with the excitement of the meeting she just stood there bored I think and I wasn't frightened...well later on yes but at the time no it's impossible to describe how it makes you feel! When you connect with a wolf but....." Without warning John took Dougie's hand but he didn't pull away "if you get the chance take it pal don't hesitate!".
He listened as his mind recreated the scene he'd been blessed with a powerful imagination and it allowed him to experience something that seemed unlikely in reality "are you in eh?" John gave him a gentle shove to check whether he'd fallen asleep "What? Oh aye I'm still here did you take a picture by any chance" this climber was known for taking pictures of interesting sights on the hills in the hope of capturing a UFO "eh no and I'd the camera in my hand but I completely forgot" as he wandered around his speech and body language became more animated with the excitement of the meeting she just stood there bored I think and I wasn't frightened...well later on yes but at the time no it's impossible to describe how it makes you feel! When you connect with a wolf but....." Without warning John took Dougie's hand but he didn't pull away "if you get the chance take it pal don't hesitate!".
"Eh no I'll make a point of it" John assumed he was taking the piss "yep that's what the last man said hmm pal I know of course you did and she gave you a paw" Dougie stubbed out the cigarette and manoeuvered his chair through the salt I'm not accusing you of lying your passion just caught me off guard but I do believe you sure anyone who heard that would know you were honest" they shook hands and went inside to find Garry worse for wear "oh hell! I was afraid of this he's not long back from Pakistan d'you know his guide confiscated all their booze probably for himself" they went to help the drunken climber who wasn't having any of it "bugger off! I am capable of walkin no paralysis here thank Christ" Dougie ignored the remark and tried to squeeze in beside him but the gap was too small and his chair's slanted wheels caught on the wall "damn! Ok pal desperate measures here" he estimated the distance between him and Garry and steadied his nerve for the leap Dougie put on the brakes and launched himself across to the bench seat he only just made it.
John pushed the seats aside and slowly lifted Garry's head in case he vomited his high altitude tan had gone and Doug wasn't impressed by his argumentative mood "right eejit features let's get you outside" with John's help he was able to make himself more secure in the seat Garry was still conscious but totally drunk. "I knew this was risky for the 1st few days he's aye the same its only a month or 2 you'd think he'd survive that long,an can you imagine the effect of alcohol at 8,000 meters" Dougie held him up and studied his colour "man he's vampiric get my wheels eh and I'll carry him" John cleared a space but as he pushed the chair towards them Garry reacted unexpectedly "oh no!...You dont see these...are ok....pal.." he pushed at them and tried to stand but fell in a crumpled heap "hmmm d'you want to rephrase that?" he kicked Dougie's legs under the table but it had the opposite effect "try again...harder come on wee man you can do it" "Yeah I'm not the one who cant right cripple" this was very painful for him but Dougie refused to give in "crip, spaz, raspberry, invalid, eh what's the 1 they aw hate oh aye handicapped will that do you".
Garry lashed out and thumped his right leg which had only just settled after his leap the muscles spasmed then began shaking he could hear Dougie's boot hitting off the floor and the noise irritated him "shit! I'm gettin out of here that's drivin me mad" he staggered to his feet and stayed there swaying like a sapling in a gale as Doug sorted out his legs and got back in the chair "ok Father Jack let's be havin you an sure if you puke over me I'll drag you all the way to Glasgow on your arse" John supported the inebriated climber who was now feeling ill however Doug's legs were still shaking and he wasn't at all sure about burdening them with this extra strain "it's all right I've done it before eh your need ae push me pal she doesnt handle well wi this" he took the responsibility and guided them outside where it was snowing heavily "ohhh f.ck! Storm! descend... guys.....bloody K2!" They sat Garry in his jeep with his head out the window,he moaned but the frigid air helped to revive him and took his mind off his somersaulting stomach "how often have you done this..oh cheers I need this" they smoked away from Garry and Doug took a long time to answer "..................eh well 3 times but this is different it was your man's 1st trip out there....and sure his brother never came back"
John choked on the smoke and accepted a drink of cold water from Dougie "........thanks....Jesus! No wonder.... he's pissed if it was me" he took 4 deep breaths and threw the cigarette in to the snow "eh he was lost 2 years ago but this 1 just loses the plot some times" Garry was attempting to start the jeep and couldn't understand why the engine was failing to fire "hey blondie would it be these your after hmmm?" Dougie went over slipping and skidding through the refreezing ice to torment his friend "you left them lyin around mind you who'd steal this heap eh?" Doug glanced around and stubbornly tried to haul himself up by hanging on to the door John rushed to his side and stood ready in case he fell "f.ck!Its no use...so are you fit to be seen in public hmm? I'm a bit late in askin that question" Garry squinted as if he couldn't see properly and puked with deadly accuracy.
He coughed and said "ohhhh shoot me please!" "Wi great pleasure y'eejit look at my good gear £250 this cost me!" John had missed the assault and he stood nearby suppressing an urge to laugh,Dougie saw the next lot coming and moved away in time,he glimpsed John out the corner of his eye and started laughing but it was tinged with frustration "if you have any bright idea's pal I'd love to hear them" he was now faced with the prospect of his expedition turning in to a farce "we'd better get him inside and the idiot can lie down out the way" "aye idiot all right an I'm supposed to be the chancer" Garry had finished puking and felt better he was more alert now but still unaware of his cruelty to Dougie "ok pal we'er goin inside because its feckin arctic out here slowly man slowly...you got him cheers" Doug had removed his jacket and the fierce cold was doing its worst.
John helped Garry inside to piss takes and insults from fellow climbers who considered his weakness with strong alcohol to be a mortal sin "are you ok pal ohh he's Christ! He's like death warmed up" "Doug you there.... I'm freezin .... any chance of tea, or even bovril... I'd kill for somethin hot" the owner nodded to Doug and told him not to worry about anything then their next problem arrived "how will you get up the stairs eh I can't give you any help" he wanted to joke the hassle away and make a smart remark but it was too much effort.
"same as I always do pal bum it and I'm sorry if it embarrasses you" but John just felt angry at Garry for forcing his friend into humiliating himself "when he's sober he'll have more than a bloody headache!" They reached the stairs and Garry decided to solo this climb "stand back guys this is a tricky ascent and you watch how its done" he pointed to Dougie and almost fell over "show me then man as I'm so hopeless" he managed the 1st 3 steps without too much hassle but as the stairs steepened the climb became more challenging Doug slid out the chair and dragged himself up behind Garry {this way if he slips there's less danger of him fallin to the bottom} John folded the chair and followed they were some sight but no one felt like taking advantage of them.
"Are you right there pal" Dougie was sweating and cursing he hated this as everyone who witnessed this struggle only saw 1 thing "aye Christ if they'd stop bloody shakin for 5 minutes I'd be delighted" he was furious and Garry made the worst kind of error "well that il teach you to tangle with the Matterhorn pal she's no for amatuers" he stood leaning against the wall and his cheek and bravado was too much for Dougie, he dragged himself up until they were level and jerked Garry's left leg away he fell and the cool hard wood smacked some sense in to his drink sodden mind "don't ever mention that again I still dream about it! Every f.ckin inch a 500ft!" His voice was cold but breaking with unresolved fear "I was worryin mysel sick while you were riskin your life on K2 but now I see that was nothin but wasted time!"
"Are you right there pal" Dougie was sweating and cursing he hated this as everyone who witnessed this struggle only saw 1 thing "aye Christ if they'd stop bloody shakin for 5 minutes I'd be delighted" he was furious and Garry made the worst kind of error "well that il teach you to tangle with the Matterhorn pal she's no for amatuers" he stood leaning against the wall and his cheek and bravado was too much for Dougie, he dragged himself up until they were level and jerked Garry's left leg away he fell and the cool hard wood smacked some sense in to his drink sodden mind "don't ever mention that again I still dream about it! Every f.ckin inch a 500ft!" His voice was cold but breaking with unresolved fear "I was worryin mysel sick while you were riskin your life on K2 but now I see that was nothin but wasted time!"
"Let go of me now! K2's not the worst! You know which one holds that title!" The young climber broke down as Dougie held him and fought back his own tears "it's ok man there's nothin to forgive.. come on you need some rest" John went to help him up and saw deep pain in Garry's blue eyes "we've all felt it pal I lost a cousin on the Cullin I've not been to Skye since" that seemed to comfort him but the anger, hiding behind his grief, was overwhelming "at least you got him back eh! My brother's gone lost! I can't bury him!" John swallowed hard and braced himself to talk about something that had kept him awake for far too many nights "yes we did but....not..he was unrecognisable...we couldnt really say goodbye to Ruraidh as we wanted...he took a header down Sgurr na Stri...it was just last year".
The silence after the shouting was deafening but Dougie welcomed it the climbers avoided eye contact both afraid of what they might find there "here's my number kiddo and don't be a stranger" Garry had at last found someone who understood his grief and frustration "I'll see you pal and thanks guys I've made a real bampot of myself" Dougie dismissed his awkwardness and ruffled his hair "no more than usual an better here than in Islamabad I've heard the prisons are shockin" they smiled and looked up at the last few steps "shall we take them together pal for the old days" he wiped away the remaining tears and took Garry's hand.